Or not, as it happens.

I have made a rather startling discovery today; I CANNOT bake.  Not for love nor money or, as it turns out, cake.

I am utterly at a loss to explain this strange phenomenon.  I can cook fairly well, I can read and I can count.  Putting these simple elements together should mean I could piece together a basic Victoria Sponge whilst following a non-too-complicated recipe, should it not?

But alas.

I tried, initially, to make a really simple chocolate sponge.  Following a recipe I found on the BBC website what I made came out looking basically like two large flat biscuits.  It was chocolately, but not that impressive. It should have been this;

http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/spongecake_1284

The best part appears to have been my daughter, who got to “clean” the bowl with her tongue.

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Actually, I thought it may have been my fault for adding the cocoa powder.  I have been assured that this should not have made too  much difference.

So second I thought I’d do a nice Victoria Sponge from a recipe book I found on our bookshelf that belongs to my wife.  The book is called British Baking by Peyton and Byrne.

Well it can sod off, I can tell you.

I followed the recipe TO THE LETTER and guess what?  I had to leave it in the oven for double the alloted time, plus turn the oven temperature up.  AND IT STILL DIDN’T BASTARD WELL COOK. check out the photo.

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So it appears my career as a master baker is much shorter than I would have suspected. I ended up with this though;

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