Since my childhood I have always been a little bit of an ideas person.  I’ve had loads of (what I consider) to be great ideas in my life. Some people would disagree with me on this and say that most of them are idiotic, at best.  But that’s just their opinion.  And they’re wrong.

Take for example my idea of a mobile cooling machine.  A classic, if I may say so. Basically it involved carrying an old car door around with you, with the window done up.  The idea here is if you get hot you just open the window and allow the air to flow, thus cooling you down.  It works in my car, ergo…

Actually you know it doesn’t have to be an old car door at all, you could get a new one if you wanted, or even one of those really modern (in the nineties) ones that open upwards.  It’s up to you, although obviously old and used ones will be cheaper.

You see some people would suggest that this is a daft idea.  I like t think of it as unusual, yes, but just thinking outside the box.  Thinking five dimensionally, as I like to say (I’ve never said that before, I just made it up).

Another of my awesome ideas is for a home-based reality TV programme.  You’ve all seen them before; person goes out, team of people arrive and decorate entire house/garden, person arrives home and looks surprised/delighted.

Well mine would be called “Surprise Gardeners” and would have a little bit of a twist. Basically a team of people would hide in someones garden and when the said person goes into the garden, they all jump out and scare the crap out of them.  They could dress up, or hide in wierd places; the possibilties are endless.  It’s sort of Jeremy Beadle meets Charlie Dimmock.

As I said, I’ve got loads of ideas me.

Ideas I have had as an adult include;

  • Squintissentials – a series of photos of quintissentially British scenes done out of focus so the veiwer has to squint.
  • The Adventures of Mavis the Ninja – where I dress up as a ninja and perform really basic household chores, or go shopping to Waitrose or walk the dog.
  • Shit Pub Gardens – a book documenting pub garden failures around the country.

Personally I think there is mileage in all of these. Check out my Mavis the Ninja first attempt at the top of the post (an introduction).

So no stealing my big ideas, ok? I’ll be a millionnaire next year…