Archives for the month of: December, 2012

About a week ago we bought our two year old a DVD set. Nothing spectacular about. It was a box set of animated films, special editions particularly made for a special time of year.
That’s right; we bought the Dreamworks Christmas triple DVD collection including such modern classics as Kung fu panda (po’s winter wonderland), merry Madagascar and Dragons (gift of the night fury).
I’ve sat and watched them today with my smallest as she isn’t feeling too good. A sofa and duvet day.

I have noticed a strange occurrence.
Only one of the three films (four if you include the extra on dragons) actually mentions the word Christmas. It’s in merry Madagascar, where they manage to shoot down father christmas’s sleigh. It would be hard to avoid saying the C word with Santa sat there in the middle of an African jungle.
The other two films totally avoid the C word, even though they are based around a “winter festival”. It’s ludicrous really.
Remember this is on a Christmas special DVD. NO-ONE would buy this set unless they celebrated Christmas. If they were offended by the concept of Christian celebrations they wouldn’t even have picked the bloody thing up.
Unless they were blind, maybe.
I’m an atheist and therefore have as much “right” to be offended by the enforced seasonal celebrations as anyone, but you know what?
So there.
Have a good holiday season everyone.



I’m adding something on.  Another driver misdemeanour.

I did a little experiment the other day whilst preparing to take my daughter to school and myself to work.

Okay, to make it all proper and sciencey and to get any true results I may have to repeat the same experiment again (and again, etc) but I’m not going to. I’m happy with my results, thanks.

This could only really work at this time of year; and equally is only really relevent at this time of year but as this time of year happens, well, every year at about this time it will continue to be at least a little bit important.

If anyone has read the initial post regarding things people do in cars that pisses me off then they’ll know how long the list finished up being after starting only with the misuse of indicators.  I promise to try not to let this one do the same…

Thursday morning I went out to the car, loaded my daughter and associated baggage in to take her to school and me to work, as I said. It was cold; the thermometer in my car said -3.5 and it properly felt it.  There was ice on the outside and the inside of the windscreen and all the windows of my car.


You see it all the time; people in the morning on the way to work leaning forward in the car to squint through the quarter of an inch of clear windscreen they could be bothered to remove the frost or ice from.  Heaters on full blast as they drive down the road unable to see anything.

So I decided to see how long it would take my car to clear completely.  No scraping, just a spray of de-icer on the outside and turing the engine on.

Then waiting.  I put some music on.

And waited some more.

I turned the music up.

And slowly; oh so slowly…

The. Windscreen. Cleared.

And how long did this little miracle take? half an hour? longer?

No. Eight and a half minutes was all it took.  The windscreen and all the other windows on the car were 90% or so clear.  I drove to work (after dropping daughter at school) and I could see.


Or maybe playing this loud helped;

I’ve been trying for ages now to write. A book, that is. A novel. A full story.
It’s not for lack of ideas that I haven’t. I currently have four proper ideas down. A little bit thought out, planned and actually stored for future use. Two of them have been started in earnest.
If this were twenty odd years ago there would be reams of paper laying about with scribbles on but as it is its all just digital now, but the idea is the same.
I have worked out today ( I think I’ve known for ages) why I haven’t done much with them; why they only stay as ideas and never become best sellers.


What if my ideas aren’t any good? What if what I write is totally shit. Awful. What if my novel became the literary version of the Twilight movies (crap)? What if I am to literature what Jedward are to music.
What if people HATE me? I’m not sure I could handle that. Maybe I’ll never find out. Maybe ill write a book, some people will like it, others won’t.

Maybe I should change my attitude and be more like Tim Minchin; cest la vie.–IkerE&hl=en-GB&v=h3cS–IkerE&gl=GB

I’ll try that.

Something happened to me today.

I got a feeling, an emotion, that I have never had before and hope to never have again.

We had taken our two year old to a Christmas party; loads of kids haring around shouting, eating sugary rubbish and hitting each other with balloons. There was an entertainer and Father Christmas made an appearance. It was all very festive (if a bit early in the month for my liking).

Part way through the entertainment, which consisted of some magic tricks and balloon animals and that sort of thing, the most horrific thing that has ever happened to me, well, happened.  It was over in no time; seconds really.  But it was truly horrible.

I couldn’t see my daughter ANYWHERE.

In a crowded, busy, noisy room full of laughing and shouting and music; she was gone. Disappeared. I hadn’t seen where she had gone, or who with.

Blind, ugly, unbelieveable panic rose up through me; clenching it’s fist around my throat and causing my heart to miss beats. I felt physically sick.

As I said, it was over before it began really.  I quickly noticed that my mum had also disappeared.  As had my dad.  I rushed over to a door and poked my head around it and there she was; laughing and joking with her grandparents.

I won’t ever be able to fully describe the horror I felt for those few seconds, and I hope to never have the opportunity to describe them again.

All’s well that ends well, so they say.